Don’t fight in your underwear

Yesterday morning I spent a couple of hours doing some clothes shopping because filming is set to begin on the Discovery Channel series again in a little over a week. The majority of the wardrobe is already supplied for me but there were just a few extra pieces I wanted.

For me, shopping is such a luxury because I tend to only go when it involves something that the kids need. Being able to shop in the adult section was wonderful and I filled my arms with lots of interesting pieces to try on.

The sales clerk led me to the fitting room and hung all of the clothes on the hooks. She told me her name was Judy and then asked me whether I was shopping for a special event. Without thinking, I just blurted out that I was filling in a few wardrobe pieces for a television shoot.

“You mean, like the Real Housewives of Nashville or something like that?” she asked.

“No,” I replied while trying to close the curtain to begin the task at hand in privacy, “it’s a show called Psycho Kitty.”

“It’s about cats?”

“Yes,” I answered, and with that, I quickly realized that I had chosen the one clothing store in Nashville where the most devoted cat lover worked.

As I stood in the fitting room in my underwear, I heard Judy on the other side of the curtain clear her throat. She hated to bother me, she said, but she had a quick cat question. As I answered Judy’s question I heard the curtain to the fitting room next to me open and close. That woman then joined in the cat conversation.

“You’re a cat expert?” Asked the woman, excitedly. All I could see of her were the red pants that quickly dropped around her ankles.

“I do cat behavior.”

So as I tried on the various articles of clothing, I was entertained by the alternating stories of Judy’s cat and the misbehaving cat of the woman in the fitting room to my left. I politely answered everyone’s questions while standing in my underwear, pulling on pants, making faces in the mirror and taking off pants.

I heard the curtain to the fitting room on my right open and close. Hearing the cat conversation, the newest member of the fitting room crowd piped in with her comment that dogs are better than cats.

There was a moment of silence.

The atmosphere in the fitting room shifted.

I didn’t want to be in the middle of a cat/dog fight while I was wearing only my underwear. The cat lover to my left started pointing out all the negative traits of dogs. The dog lover to my right was quick to respond with unflattering cat comparisons. The conversation was getting heated. Judy the sales clerk joined in on the cat side briefly before she was called away to help another costumer. I then heard another voice chime in on the cat side. The voice was further away so she must’ve been three or four fitting rooms down to my right. Feeling outnumbered, the dog lover’s voice got a little more intense.

None of the clothes that I tried on fit well so I got dressed and quickly exited the fitting room, leaving the three women to continue their cat/dog fight. Some things just shouldn’t be discussed while you’re in your underwear.


To read more from the Two Loons, check out our book Cookies for Dinner.

Cookies for Dinner


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